Every year I make a point to choose a word or concept that I work toward. Last year I chose healthy boundaries and finishing things. This year I felt that God gave me roots for my word for the year. I couldn’t have imagined how deep that word would be taking me already this year!
I talked a little bit about my beginnings in my Facebook Live video from the other night. When I was conceived, I was completely unplanned. My mom was a young wife and mother who was looking for love in all the wrong places. My dad was the lead musician in the local rock band. This post is not to condemn my parents, because for this choice I will always be grateful. When I came along, my mom used to tell me that while she was pregnant she was not sure who my dad was, and it wasn’t until I was born and looked exactly like my Grandma Klinko that she knew who to whom I belonged.
I didn’t even realize until now how much my mother’s words had shaped me. She would tell this story often without much thought, but the reality was that knowing I was a wrench in someone’s plan had me growing up feeling like I needed to prove something and somehow show that I was worth it. Worth the fact that I brought a divorce, worth the fact that I somehow caused another marriage that wouldn’t last. All things I couldn’t have verbalized at the time, but one thing was for sure – I was of the mindset that I needed to work for love instead of living from love, and prove that I was worth it.
This week as I was taking some time with God, He definitely surprised me. He gave me a vivid picture in my mind of myself inside my mother’s womb with His hands surrounding me. He spoke so clearly: “I have great plans for you little one. You are small, but I am great, and am going to move through you powerfully.” He had to take me back to my very beginning to show me that, even then, He was shoring up a firm foundation for my life. He loved me fully from the very beginning, before I was able to do even one thing to earn it.
Unless we have a firm foundation, we can not grow to our full potential.
Strong foundations are key for substantial growth. Webster’s definition of foundation is:
a : a body or ground upon which something is built up or overlaid
In all of my posts about how to find your five things so far, I left out the most important key. Knowing how truly and deeply loved by God you are is the only foundation on which your five things can stand.
Identity is so important, but how can we know who we truly are apart from God’s love? We can try to figure out who we are. There are books and retreats that offer that they can help you find yourself. We can take silent weekends alone with our thoughts to try to figure out who we are, or travel the world in hopes of finding ourselves. Personally, I don’t believe we can be fully satisfied until we are fully aware that nothing we do or don’t do will make God love us more or less.
When we know that we are fully loved, we don’t have to be worried about failure. There is so much freedom to be who we are!
I want to encourage you and let you know that you are chosen as well. God loved you fully before you could even choose Him. I’m so thankful that God has a perfect way of taking a situation that looks hopeless and infusing hope. I may have been unplanned, but as I’m getting back to my roots, I see that God had a plan for me all along and I am so thankful for that.